the winnipeg sandbox
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
the winnipeg sandbox

Latest topics

» Gord Steeves should run for Mayor
by FlyingRat Wed Aug 13, 2014 4:58 pm

» To discontinue?
by EdWin Sat Jul 12, 2014 9:26 pm

» Sandbox breakfast get-together, Saturday, January 25, 2014.
by rosencrentz Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:27 pm

» 2013-14 Bisons/CIS Thread
by Hollywood Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:56 pm

» Katz must resign
by cobragt Mon Oct 28, 2013 5:09 pm

» Best Breakfast/Brunch
by cobragt Mon Oct 28, 2013 5:07 pm

» Manitoba Action Party
by RogerStrong Mon Oct 21, 2013 2:24 pm

» Police Respond to a silent alarm With Guns Drawn
by EdWin Tue Aug 20, 2013 10:10 pm

» Details about Cineplex SuperTicket -- interesting promotion
by MattKel Thu Jul 18, 2013 4:08 pm

» Freep locks out non-subscriber commentary
by Deank Mon Jul 08, 2013 3:58 pm

» 7-year sentence for Berlusconi
by FlyingRat Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:32 pm

» New Stadium
by grumpy old man Mon May 27, 2013 4:34 pm

» Winnipeg News Android App
by grumpy old man Mon May 27, 2013 4:33 pm

» First Post
by grumpy old man Fri May 24, 2013 2:43 pm

» The New Sals at Pembina and Stafford
by grumpy old man Thu Apr 25, 2013 1:35 pm

» Emma Watson wants to do nude scenes for 50 shades of grey movie
by FlyingRat Wed Apr 24, 2013 10:39 am

» Museum finally admits it needs to raise more money priovately.
by FlyingRat Wed Apr 24, 2013 10:32 am

» And You Thought Your Taxes Are High Now!!!
by FlyingRat Wed Apr 24, 2013 10:21 am

» free chocolate sample
by cobragt Sun Mar 31, 2013 6:12 pm

» Do you want a gift certificate for A winnipeg restraunt?
by cobragt Sun Mar 31, 2013 6:12 pm


You are not connected. Please login or register

Life Before kids

+9
AGEsAces
St Norberter
JT Estoban
sputnik
Freeman
holly golightly
Deank
grumpy old man
Goth_chic
13 posters

Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3

What do you miss the most

Life Before kids - Page 3 Vote_lcap23%Life Before kids - Page 3 Vote_rcap 23% [ 5 ]
Life Before kids - Page 3 Vote_lcap23%Life Before kids - Page 3 Vote_rcap 23% [ 5 ]
Life Before kids - Page 3 Vote_lcap14%Life Before kids - Page 3 Vote_rcap 14% [ 3 ]
Life Before kids - Page 3 Vote_lcap18%Life Before kids - Page 3 Vote_rcap 18% [ 4 ]
Life Before kids - Page 3 Vote_lcap22%Life Before kids - Page 3 Vote_rcap 22% [ 5 ]
Total Votes : 22


Go down  Message [Page 3 of 3]

51Life Before kids - Page 3 Empty Re: Life Before kids Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:20 pm

Deank


contributor eminence
contributor eminence

The AAs were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. AA kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. AA cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. AA.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. AA quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs.. AA exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. AA.
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get
the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. AA, her eyes wide with
amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. AA leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment? "
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my
tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. AA fainted.

52Life Before kids - Page 3 Empty Re: Life Before kids Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:28 pm

AGEsAces

AGEsAces
moderator
moderator

but did she have a boy or a girl? Smile)

http://www.photage.ca

53Life Before kids - Page 3 Empty Re: Life Before kids Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:40 pm

FlyingRat

FlyingRat
moderator
moderator

Deank wrote:The AAs were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. AA kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. AA cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. AA.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. AA quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs.. AA exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. AA.
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get
the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. AA, her eyes wide with
amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. AA leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment? "
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my
tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. AA fainted.


LMAO!

Sponsored content



Back to top  Message [Page 3 of 3]

Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum