50% of kids bullied

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/division-startled-as-half-of-students-bullied-117787808.html

I wonder how broad their definition of bullying is eh?

Here is the link to the results on the school division website. Looks like very common definitions of what bullying may be. Sad commentary on today's society.

http://www.sjsd.net/PDF/Safe%20Schools%20Survey%20Results%202011.pdf

Ignored, left out 21.4%
Called names, teased 29.7%
Other 6.9%

without context, not really useful information.

Is one of the issues behind bullying that our system (society, school) haven't taught our children to be more resilient. I remember having an argument with the principal when my boys were in grade 6 or so, and his comment was that when confronted, my kids fought back, and that not what they were trying to teach. My point was that I was not going to have my kids become victims. He replied that he didn't think that was going to happen, and I agreed, because I taught them to hold their own.

Do we need to teach kids to stand up for themselves, more, better? There will always be the bullies, and I don't want to minimize their impact on some kids, but perhaps we should rethink what we're teaching.

50% of kids are bullied and the other 50% are doing the bullying!
Bullying is absolutely normal!
Look at Stephen Harper and Sam Katz! need I say any more?

Please correct me if I am wrong.
But weren't a bunch of kids killed somewhere in the states because of bullying?

Is me calling you a name one time, and that the only time you are called a name, and its done in jest because we are friends, bullying?

no.

unfortunately it is according to the guidelines. It is important to find out about real cases of bullying, but confusing the matter with what bullying actually is only makes it worse, not better.

holly golightly wrote:Here is the link to the results on the school division website. Looks like very common definitions of what bullying may be. Sad commentary on today's society.

[url=http://www.sjsd.net/PDF/Safe%20Schools%20Survey%20Results%202011.pdf

http://www.sjsd.net/PDF/Safe%20Schools%20Survey%20Results%202011.pdf[/quote[/url]]

Wow. Interesting stats.

8% of kids admit to being a bully and almost half have seen it or been the subject of bullying.

That is sad indeed, and, imo, we should be teaching kids to stand up for themselves and not be allowed to be victims, as Freeman suggests.

And it doesn't end at with the school system. We have a bully here in the office I work in and she is quite the Bully with a couple of people in the office. There are only 5 of us in this office and quite honestly, because of her actions, I dread coming to work each day, not because I don't like my job but because of her behaviour and how if affects my day to the extent that I am looking for another job.

Oh no. That's awful.

It must be dreadful to have to come to work under those conditions. I hope you get another job soon.

It sucks big time because I love what I do. And because of family circumstances, transferring to another office/location within the company right now is not a viable option although if it becomes more difficult I will be considering it. And the thing that really pisses me off is her manager is aware of it but really does nothing about it other than to talk to her but it still continues. The other person who she bullies has taken a stand as well but I have become silent in the fact that I don't even talk to her or anyone in the office for that matter anymore unless it has to do with business.

Thanks for letting me rant as I find that if I speak up here to anyone, it gets back to the person who does the bullying and then it gets worse for everyone involved for a while.

As she is a bully to others management must know. Have ya told management that you will quit? Are they concerned if you and others threaten to quit?

Some managers really cannot cope with anything like this in the workplace unfortunately.

Are you able to go on 'stress leave' at your place?

My manager is aware of my situation however if I were to elaborate that I may leave I may be dismissed and right now that is not something I can afford to have happen. It's not that her manager can't cope with this but it is the unfortunate thing that both of our managers are not local, rather they are remote in Toronto so don't see things on a daily personal basis. When either of them are here, everyone is on their best behaviour. It has been noticed that I don't interact with my colleagues like everyone else does and I have explained it as "there are people you work with and then there are people you socialize with and the people I work with here are people I choose not to socialize with. Because I have to work, I have to tolerate the people I work with, that does not mean I have to respect them as people but I do have to be respectful of them" and that is how I tend to operate on a daily basis. Unless it is mandatory that I attend an office lunch/dinner/meeting, I choose not to for those reasons. When it is a mandatory office function I don't do a lot of speaking/interacting unless I am asked dircectly my opinion and then that is all they get is a brief answer, rather I observe and put all info into the "bank" in my memory for use later on. I refuse to provide ammunition. So it has been noticed and noted by both managers but because they are sales reps and I am a project manager and the other person is a support person, there is an "us and them" mentality in the office and the sales reps tend to stick together and not vouch for others who are not part of their "team".

I also have taken to documenting bullying moments in the office such as emails, jokes and memo's that are sent. A planned trip to this office is upcoming by both my manager and hers so if things are not resolved at that point, I will be using them at that time.

As for the stress leave, that is not something I would do, not in my nature/personality/values/morals or whatever, I don't believe in it. I have a job to provide to my customers and they are first and foremost to my job so if the "stress" is too much at the office, I take my stuff and work from home for a few days.

I see. And good luck to you. I hope there is such a thing as karma.

Thanks JTF.

Karma does exist in this office as she has already lost a few of her clients because of her attitude. They now have asked that if they have to deal with our company for their product, that they deal with me so I have that in my back pocket as well (she doesn't know this fact and I keep it extremely quiet). One client who is still on her books refuses to deal with her and instead deals directly with me and if they have issues and I am not available they choose to wait as opposed to dealing with her. All of these clients have documented and sent written explanation to her manager so it will be very interesting.

umm.. I thought recent legislation was put in place about crap like this.

Deank wrote:umm.. I thought recent legislation was put in place about crap like this.

There is and isn't new legislation

New rules were put in place about Harassment, which includes "Psychological Harassment".

And a complaint of such requires certain "proof", but is also required to be addressed by an employer should it be presented.

It doesn't mean anyone would get fired, it would more mean a requirement of relocation within the company, or some kind of counselor brought in to address the problems.

And because this office is as small as it is (5 of us) that also creates a degree of difficulty in resolving this type of issue. I have an extremely strong personality so I am able to handle the "silence" that I work in but that also makes me an easy target as the other person is afraid of making waves and tattling to the management. Being in a larger work place makes reporting bullying behaviour to management much easier as it could be any number of people who reported as opposed to 1 or 2. In a larger work place a bully can be observed very easy without their knowledge where in a small office, it is very obvious that observation is happening, however it can be done. In our office it is difficult because we are a sales office so the reps are supposed to be out of the office "selling" so our senior rep who is very good at what he does is often the person who is looked upon to make the observations, however he is seldom in the office as he is out doing his job.

And then there is the "proof" issue that Ages mentions, so like I said even though there are 2 of us it is happening to, there are 2 others that it is not and they will back the bully because she is part of their team and not ours, which in and unto itself is a form of bullying.

Because of my level of education and management skills along with age, it is more difficult for me to find another position as there isn't a lot out there but believe me I am looking very hard.

get a nanny cam maybe?

I think if this person starts to lose clients, her days are probably numbered. That's a good thought to have in your head when she's doing her b.s. (Loosen the door closer so that it slams on her a$$ when it shuts behind her as she's booted.)

Deank wrote:get a nanny cam maybe?

It's a thought but will have to check with my lawyer friend to see how legal it is to have a camera set up that records voice. From what I remember voice recording is illegal if done without the person's knowledge.

I agree with Freeman on this one, the only way to stop bullying is to teach kids to stand up for themselves and to give them the tools to do so. It seems to me that since schools started having these "zero tolerance" policies in place that the bullying problems have only gotten worse. In the past if a kid was being constantly harrased/humiliated and confronted the instigator and gave them a black eye or whatever there was a bit more leeway in the way the situation was handled. I'm of the personal opinion that martial arts for kids is great not only for self-defence but also for the confidence it instills in kids. It's much easier for a child to confront a bully if they're not afraid of having the snot pounded out of them. Schoold need to get their heads out of their a$$'s and allow kids to fight back when the situation warrants it. I think we'd see less bullying this way rather than more.

Legislation came into effect, February 1, I think, under the Workplace Safety & Health Act to cover harrassment in the workplace. While its ultimately an employer responsibility, it does put some onus on employer/employee committees.

Freeman wrote:Legislation came into effect, February 1, I think, under the Workplace Safety & Health Act to cover harrassment in the workplace. While its ultimately an employer responsibility, it does put some onus on employer/employee committees.

yeah but its not new freeman