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Humour du jour

+8
FlyingRat
SMW
Freeman
incognito
Electrician
AGEsAces
Deank
grumpy old man
12 posters

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1Humour du jour Empty Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:56 am

grumpy old man

grumpy old man
administrator
administrator

Post a joke!...

2Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 9:03 am

Guest

Anonymous
Guest

That's not funny.

3Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 9:06 am

grumpy old man

grumpy old man
administrator
administrator

Is too.

4Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 9:50 am

Deank

Deank
contributor eminence
contributor eminence

Q. Why do people kill animals?
A. Fur convenience steak.

5Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 10:08 am

Deank

Deank
contributor eminence
contributor eminence

Q. Have you heard of the garlic diet?
A. You don't lose much weight, but from a distance, your friends think you look thinner.

6Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 10:22 am

Deank

Deank
contributor eminence
contributor eminence

Your mama is so fat. She has to iron her pants on the driveway.

7Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:06 pm

AGEsAces

AGEsAces
moderator
moderator

What are the most popular places on the planet?

Cemeteries...people are just DYING to get in there.

http://www.photage.ca

8Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:44 pm

Guest

Anonymous
Guest

I went to the doctor's the other day with fluid on my knee....he said I should aim better.

9Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:45 pm

Guest

Anonymous
Guest

AGEsAces wrote:What are the most popular places on the planet?

Cemeteries...people are just DYING to get in there.
Okay..what are they?

10Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 3:03 pm

Electrician

Electrician
general-contributor
general-contributor

JTF wrote:
AGEsAces wrote:What are the most popular places on the planet?


Cemeteries...people are just DYING to get in there.
Okay..what are they?

Go over the next line, he changed font color.

http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1416203996

11Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 3:54 pm

incognito

incognito
contributor plus
contributor plus

It takes a big man to cry.

But it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

12Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 5:39 pm

AGEsAces

AGEsAces
moderator
moderator

Electrician wrote:
JTF wrote:
AGEsAces wrote:What are the most popular places on the planet?


Cemeteries...people are just DYING to get in there.
Okay..what are they?

Go over the next line, he changed font color.

Yes...riddles are funnier if you have a moment to think about it before given the answer Smile

http://www.photage.ca

13Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:10 pm

Freeman

Freeman
uber-contributor
uber-contributor

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by
Teachers in the New York City public school system.
All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny!!!

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

[b][b]2. I would not allow this student to breed.


3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

[/b][/b]

14Humour du jour Empty For the cat lovers amoungst us... Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:16 pm

grumpy old man

grumpy old man
administrator
administrator

15Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Fri Oct 03, 2008 9:25 pm

Guest

Anonymous
Guest

Sad part is most of the comments are probaly true

16Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Sat Oct 04, 2008 10:03 pm

incognito

incognito
contributor plus
contributor plus

Unix commands:

unzip;strip;touch;grep;grep;finger;mount;fsck;more;yes;fsck;fsck;fsck;umount;sleep 10h

17Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Sat Oct 04, 2008 10:12 pm

SMW

SMW
major-contributor
major-contributor

incognito wrote:Unix commands:

unzip;strip;touch;grep;grep;finger;mount;fsck;more;yes;fsck;fsck;fsck;umount;sleep 10h

Now THAT'S funny!
Razz

http://www.conceitedjerk.com

18Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:12 pm

grumpy old man

grumpy old man
administrator
administrator

Humour du jour 4

19Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Sun Oct 19, 2008 10:18 pm

Guest

Anonymous
Guest



A young man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said, 'I want to be a movie star.' Tall, handsome and, with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.[size=16]

The agent asked, 'What's your name?'


The guy said, 'My name is Penis van Lesbian.'

The agent said, 'Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name.'

'I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old. I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.'

The agent said, 'Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years. You will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name, or I will not be able to represent you.'

'So be it! I guess we will not do business together,' the guy said, and he left the agent's office.

Five years later the agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck. Who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...

'Dear Sir,

Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood .. You told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice.

Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke

20Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:13 am

Freeman

Freeman
uber-contributor
uber-contributor

Now thats funny!! Razz

21Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:59 pm

Deank

Deank
contributor eminence
contributor eminence

22Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:22 am

grumpy old man

grumpy old man
administrator
administrator

Heard on a talk show yesterday from Martin Short.

The discussion was centred around McCain being a very very old man...

The only time McCain does not need to pee is when he is peeing.

Ba dom boom

23Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Mon Nov 03, 2008 3:44 pm

Electrician

Electrician
general-contributor
general-contributor

C'mon, just because he wears diapers, doesn't mean he's a baby... Suspect

http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1416203996

24Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Mon Nov 03, 2008 3:48 pm

FlyingRat

FlyingRat
moderator
moderator

That joke smells worse than John McCain's diaper genie!

25Humour du jour Empty Re: Humour du jour Sat Nov 22, 2008 12:52 pm

grumpy old man

grumpy old man
administrator
administrator